Stephens Blogspot

I have awoken today very weak, and with quite a bit of pain, the shakey feeling is quite bad this morning, I am swolen all over, especially around lips and eyes. It is most likely due to the Chemo drug Methotrexate. I really feel rundown this morning, almost as if I was hit by a train. I am sleepy tired already, and feel as though I could crash for a week.
The weather is looking good though, overcast and dark, our sister town in Namibia(Gobabis) had some rain already so who knows, we just might get some early rains, not quite ready for the rains as I still have lots to do before I can sow any seeds, but won't not want the rain, in a dry place like the Kalahari the rolling thunder of a storm is alway welcomed.

I don't know if I will get much done today, I feel very weak, although I do have a starlink dish that I have to go link up to a clients network, so whether or not I am feeling up to it or not, I need to go and do it.

Evening Update: I installed the starlink kit, and came home around 2pm, I have been super weak, and in quite a bit of pain, but can't say where it is, its all over, and the last time I felt this kind of pain was when I had blood poisoning as a child. Its not the normal aches and pains. I also have hunger like pain sensation on the stomach, as well as nausia. The nausia I was expecting to be worse though

I am late to update today. I was a little busy today, had some work that needed doing. I woke this morning with a headache again, not just a little one but full headache, had minor aches and pains which gradually got worse, but today the feeling of exhaustion was much less, and the shakes barly noticable.

I also had some back ache in the lower back to kidney area, and some in the legs. Overall today has been quite bearable, I have aches in my finger joints from my thumb to middle finger on both hands, this is is known to be an issue with iron overload, and I suspect my iron is climbing again. It was high on the previous bloods, but not overly high.

I went to the doctor again today, didn't have blood works done today, but started the Chemo drug Methotrexate on a low 7.5mg dose. The drug is an imunosupressant in Lupus and Inflamitory Arthritis it is used to suppress the imune response, reducing the risk of long term damage that the inflamation causes, and also helps protect lupus sufferes from organ damage caused by the inflamation when the body attacks its own cells.

It is used in higher doses it's used in Leukaemia Cancers and Lymphoma as well as breast and bladder cancers.

I already have hair loss with a 1" size balding spot in the middle of my head near the forehead, TRUMP combover engaged!

I suspect that since I am already having hairloss, I will be seeing more of this, so far I have not experienced any adverse affects from taking it, but I'm told that up to 3 days after taking it the affects can be fealt.

I have been given cortisone cream to put on the fingers to help stop them from peelingm they currently feel numb almost like when one has superglue layer over, I think the top most layer has already died, and is going to peel in the coming days to weeks.
Overall I think today has been semi-productive, with little pain and little of that shakey exhaused feeling. My mind seems clearer, although I still have moments where I have heavy fog, but it hasn't been constant today.

I have awoken again with a slight headache, but pain levels 2/10 with a little pain in the left foot and lower back, this is the least pain I have for as long as I can remember, even having the headache. I don't have the bad shakey feeling as much today, today I feel almost normal, except my eyesight is very blurry today, I have a little upset stomach and some IBS today, but not really bad, just some discomfort with a slight lead legs and arms.

Mental state is a little better, but still low, and I still feel as if an elephant is still sitting on my chest. I am seeing improvement, but also see that one day can be better, then the next worse, and I have not been able to say if it's something that I have done, or eaten, I can not link any foods with feeling worse, it almost seems random, except I have noticed physical exertion knocks me back quite a bit.

I will see what tomorrow holds, and if it's a good day I may go out and concrete the corner stabaliser stays in place, then its not far till I can put up the fence wire itself.

I haven't been out to the property in 2 weeks now I think. I need to get things done else I'll not get it done before the rains start. We have already had the first drops fall last week, not enough to even wet a layer of ground, but precipitation none the less. So I'll need to get the ball rolling faster to get the area fenced off and prepared for planting or I may miss out.

I have been looking at the next step, water source; while we already have a 220v pump in the borehole and is able to supply water running a Generator, this is way too expensive to run for any form of irrigation. I am looking at ways to be able to get a solar controller that runs without batteries, just using PV but have yet to find a suitable controller, or pricing. I feel it's better to go this route, rather than replace with dedicated solar system, as if anything goes wrong, with the pump, I can source parts or even replacements very easily. It's only an issue if the controller goes wrong, but then again it would be the same for dedicated solar pumps. The problem with solar pumps like grundfos is that they are not servicable, which means that if anything goes wrong, its the entire pump that needs replacing. So I think the option of getting a controller running regular single phase 220v pump would be the better option, that way if anything goes wrong with the controller there is a plan that can easily be made using generator or even portable solar systems. The pump I have already is a 0.55KW which is quite small, and would run on many smaller inverters as well. It's yield is not all that much 5000L/H but enough for the area that we intend on irrigating for now. So I think the best route is to get a 220v controller that does not require batteries to run the current pump.

While typing this I got up to go and do something, and I knew I had to go to our storage shed in the back yard, but upon arriving in the shed I couldn't remember what I went to go do. This is happening more often than I like. I have come back inside in the hope that I can remember what I went to go do, but still I sit here trying to remember what it was that I went to do.

I am really going crayzy, gave up on thinking about what I went to do, then went to kitchen an heard our water pressure pump kick in then it hit me, I had gone to bathroom and saw the toilet water leaking into the bowl, I had gone to see if I had a rubber seal in a toilet kit that I bought for the float. I don't know if its meds that cause this or not, but its scares me sometimes how short my memory is, and how I can't concentrate.

Yesterday I did not update, I was in court the whole morning only to be told the case is postponed. Great, for my health! Increased stress in anticipation for the finalisation, only to be told nope next month. After getting out, I went out to help a client, and while there I developed fever, such that I had to stop and come home. I didn't have much pain yesterday and today I have woken with slight back pain and that "gout" pain in the foot has lessened slightly. I can almost walk normally today.

I think the weather plays quite a large roll in how I feel, as today and yesterday has been slightly cooler weather, and I feel beter with the cooler weather, but I also think diet may have quite a large roll too. I have noticed that after eating lamb, I tend to feel worse, and lamb is our primary meat source, I am wondering if its the fat or the meat, I will start reducing the fat intake from the lamb, and see how that goes(The white meat is the tastiest though) I still have the heavy legs and arms feeling from the microvibrations/shakes, and I woke with a headache this morning, I haven't had one since starting on the cortisone, this is the first one. Took paracetamol and it has virtually gone. I have not taken any hydration salts in the last week, so maybe that is the cause being low on electolytes. It has been hot, so maybe I should take the rehydrate salts more often.

Overall I feel much better today, so every day in a improvement, I feel my mental state has slipped back a notch, but that may be due to the headache, as I still feel as if my head is being squashed in a vise from the headache. I am tired, so will be eating lunch then going to take a super nap to recharge a little. Thankfully our bedroom holds the chill from running the AC through the night, so is nice and cool.

I have not been back out to the Plot this week, I would like to get out in the coming week and I hope to do a walkthrough the planting area, as well as a little "veld" walk
It is very dry at the moment as we are in the driest part of the year, but the trees have started greening. It will look a little depressingly grey and dry, but doing a walkthrough now, and then after the rains start one can see the change that the seasons bring.

Anyway, Ill sign off and have lunch before going for a nap.

Late afternoon early evening update, I unloaded checken feed, 50kg bags, when I was healthier was not a problem, but today, the slight exhertion loading the bags onto a wheelbarrow, and pushing it not even 10m to the containers, and then emptying the bags into the container exhausted me, that the shakey feeling was really bad. I know I should take it easy, but a simple task seems impossible for me, and it is very frustrating. I still have a slight headache this evening even after drinking a rehidration salt pack.

Hopefully the cold in South Africa will reach us this evening, cos I could do with even cooler weather. I really don't mind the cold, one can layer up, but there is no escape from the heat.

I have awoken with very little pain, still have a shakes, my eyesight has improved slightly but still quite blurry. I have the gout like pain in my left foot still and a ever so slight back pain this morning, but my stomach still not happy. I believe it's due to the cortisone, as it has been getting worse after taking med. Maybe due to not haveing large enough meal before taking the meds (I'm not a breakfast eater) So today I have had a larger cooked breakfast to see if it will easy the stomach. Even with the minor foot pain, and stomach upset, my mental state feels uplifted, and I feel much better mentally this morning. Pain levels are back down to about 3/10 mostly the foot, and the discomfort from the belly upset, back is slightly tight but can equate that to similar pain when one has excersized and have stiff achyness.

It heated up quite quickly this morning, can feel the heat building minute by minute, this African sun can be brutal. I was out for a short while 2 days ago in the sun, and the tiny blisters that turn into scabs on my forhead are back. They are so tiny one can not see them, but feel them. Macro lens is required to see them. So Definatly must stay out the sun, but also need to balance exposure so I can still get VitD

I am hoping to get out to the plot this weekend, but that will depend on how hot it gets, we only have a corrigated iron shed, that we use to overnight, and that gets brutally hot as soon as the sun hits it. So may not overnight there this weekend.

Afternoon update: Today has been fairly OK and have been able to do small jobs, I managed to harvest some barley from our test bed in the garden, 650g from about 1sqm, that translates to 6.5Tons per Hectare, which is an excellent yield. Now to find out how to process it further, into a usable product. I have never done grains like this before.

So we have got it down to the berries with the hulls, I now need to know how to dehull the berries, and then they can be ground down ito flour, or I could malt them and make a beer.

Will have more then enough seed to replant when the rains arrive.

Today I have awoken with little pain in most of my body, but have gout like pain on the outside bridge of my foot, putting weight of any sort on the foot is quite painful, and when at rest it has a burning sensation, I have pain in the lower back region near the kidneys. I am not feeling as exhausted, but I still have the shakes/tremble feeling. Brainfog is not too bad this morning, my eyesight is blurry again this morning I have red veins showing in the whites of my eye so obviously affected by the inflamation. My Mental state is not great but but not super depressed either. Tomorrow I have to go to court, 2 years ago I went in to the police station complaining about illigalities at our neighbors and liqour outlets, and this resulted in Police charging myself with a charge of public nuisance, because I had called them useless. Laughable I know, and the fact the officers proceeded is even more so, I was ill at the time as well, and the next day I had gone through to Gobabis, where I was found to have high blood iron(ferratin), and this was cause of high BP. That was probably the start of the journey to getting diagnosed. In anycase I have been advise by our lawyer that I shouldn't wory since it's just a ruling, but I do not trust the justice system, as this country is so corrupt. Its hard not to worry untill you know for sure what the outcome is.

Alot has happened in the last couple of years, and I think much of it combined is what has affected my health, and what is causing my current flare.

I have been wanting to go and put up the corner stays on the posts, but just havn't had the energy or the will this week, and it seems as if the weeks consists of a Monday and a Friday, I struggle to keep track of time, especially when the brain fog is quite bad. I have no idea where the time goes. Its scary to now that you have accompished nothing in that time. I hate that fact. I have so many projects I'd like to complete, but know when I have brainfog, I should be near machinery. I have a few woodworking projects, Elani has asked if I feel up to it, to make a little stove for Jessica, and paint the door with chalk board paint. I have everything to complete the job. Its such an easy job, its building a box with some cutout circles for the hot plate, but I know if I attempt my mind wont be fully on the job and I may get a finger cut off. As it is I cut lamb up into chops and touched the meat saw blade, luckily it was the nonserated area of the blade. That was a warning!

My gut feels much better today, the other day I had such cramps and I still don't know why.

Woke up today with with pain level up 7/10 everywhere aches, joints cracking as I walk, much of the pain coming from lower back (kidney area), hard to breath again this morning, eyes are blurry brainfog. Yesterday afternoon I had a bit of an upset stomach, so think whatever affected my stomach has made today worse. Upside is I don't have a headache, so if I sit still it doesn't hurt so bad.

I am also haveing a little drunk feeling this morning where I feel a very slow spin. eyes are light sensitive as well, and the pain causing a little nausia as well, chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it, my hands and fingers tingle with the finger tips feeling quite raw. I still have the shakey feeling (micro Vibrations) but to a lesser extent this morning, Have this empty hunger pain feeling in my gut, but not hungry.

This morning has been cooler than the past 3 days, but remains hot 25C at 10am with a RH13.7%, and we hade a few drops fall yesterday afternoon.

I have been put in contact with a group in South Africa (Men with Lupus) and they have given some information, and that I shouldn't soley rely on GP for treatment, and they highly advise going to a Rheumatologist. The closest one being Johannesburg 1000km away, and then there is an internist in Windhoek that also does Rheumatology.The problem I now face is the cost of getting to Windhoek, and the cost of the treatement and tests, as this is not paid by the Medical Aid, as out of country treatment is only paid with preapproval, and this is increadibly difficult to get as one is passed from one to the other when calling them, It is so difficult to deal with corporates no matter what industry.

I have awoken with little pain probably 2/10, but the exhausted feeling 8/10, I have a feeling in my tummy that Ive had before, mostly when sick with fly or a tummy bug, the drained feeling feels like its cored at the belly area(I don't know how to explain it) I have microvibration throughout my whole body this morning, my energy is so low it feels like I need to pick up a ton just to move my arms and my legs, my eyesight is also quite blurry today again. The upside is I have very little pain, a little in my back and a little in my left foot (Gout Like) Hopefully the exhausted feeling will subside a little.

I havn't had the energy to travel the 10km to the "plot" this weekend, so havn't been back out, I will hopefully be out there to set the corner stays in the comming days as and when I feel up to getting there. It is super hot these couple of days with indoor temps as high as 39C, and as the heat increases, the more drained Ive been feeling. It is also a very dry heat, sucking the energy out of anyone (Current Humidity Level is 6%) so even when in a cool environment like an airconditioned room you can still feel energy draining as you loose moisture to the air, it's quite draining.

Last night I smoked a sheep rib for dinner, smoking meats is a lazy way of cooking, having to only tend to the fire now and then so that it maintains a good temperature and clean smoke. Turned out quite good, ideally a longer took time with more moisture in the smoker would have made it more tender, but was good none the less.

I have awoken with stuffy nose and sore throat this morning, my eyesight is super blurry, my body aches quite a bit, legs feel heavy and upper arms too. chest feels tight and breathing hurts again, skin feels super dry on my face and hands, and my fingers are super raw feeling this morning, but this has been coming on for a few days now. Yesterday was the first headache I have had since being on the cortisone, it was not super bad, could be due to heat, as it was 38.2C indoors so what was the outdoor in the sun temp. I have had my meds increased, both the Anti-Depressants, as well as cortisone. My mind seems clearer this morning less foggy but don't feel I can do much today.

I at least managed to sleep last night, a welcome rest since I didn't sleep much the night before.

I am going to be taking it easy this weekend, we will be going out to the property to be wet the concret pours so that it does not cure to quickly, as the longer it cures the stronger it will be.

I didn't get much sleep last night, medication causig insomnia, but got up with not much pain, so I decided Ill go plant the corner poles on the "plot"

I didn't get much done in the morning except getting all the tools together. There is no power out on the property, so fueled up Generator, loaded the concrete mixer, level and so on, along with 4 corner poles, then waited till after lunch when the labourer would return.

After lunch we headed out to the property, luckily holes were already dug the previous week. We setup the concret mixer and got to work, thankfully the labourer Jacob was around to do much of the heavy lifting cos I sure couldnt. I was at this point to exhausted already, but we pushed on, and managed to pour the concrete round the posts. 4 Corner posts in, curing. Next week is 8 Stabalizer posts, to help support the corners when straiing the steel wire.

What do they say, Rome wasn't built in a day. I will have to take it easy for a day or 2, sun makes the condition worse and on top of it today our indoor maximum temperature was 38.2C, and I got more than enough of the African sun today. Covering up helps, but still feel scorched eventhough I wet my clothes while I work.. I am super tired, but for some reason switching off is just not happening.

It would seem Im now plagued with the side affects of the cortisone, causing the insomnia. Meds help for the inflamtion, but how does one heal without any sleep, seems its going to be a hard battle, and on top anything I do seems to need to go outdoors into the sun. We will eventually get there, step by step, one foot infront of the other. Slow and Steady.

Again thank you, to each and everyone that has made the contribution we would not be concreting poles yet without your help. Not too long and we will be able to start preparing planting beds.

I have woken up with a little more pain than yesterday, but my mental state is much better this morning for some reason. It may be meds are starting to work, I have quite a bit of gout like pain in my feet, knees and hips, still have tight heavy chest feeling and breathing still sore, but improved slightly from yesterday. It would seem the cortisone is slowly working, I am moving about more easily and moving is less painful. I havn't had a full headache since being on the cortisone, I have had days where it felt it would be starting then went away. My eyesight seems to be a little more stable, and havnt had to wear eye glasses in 3 days, although I probably would benifit wearing reading glasses at the computer.

Thanks to the donations from you all, the we are now going to get some of whats needed, and I hope to have enough energy to be able to concrete the corner poles in the ground in the comming days. We are going out later to make the purchase of the poles.

Thank you again, photos will follow soon

While this morning I felt quite OK, the heat of the day set in 34.5C indoors, and I have quickly depleted energy. I don't have alot of pain, but I really feel bushed, I have little to no energy, and my body is just saying stay put, I have taken an electolyte mix in the hope this will make me feel better. I did manage to get the poles for the corner posts, so I will as energy allows, take out the concrete mixer and start fixing them in place. Again thank you for the contributions, Family, Friends, Friends of familiy, and their friends. It is making a big diffirence in getting the "plot" setup, and ultimatly a little bit of peace where I hopefuly can heal.

Today has started to be quite an OK day, pain is not that bad, with a little down my back going into legs, I still have a tight chest with a squeeze like sensation, my head feels clearer today, the lead like feeling is much lower today, overall I feel much better today. I hope it stays that way through the day.

I am off to the "plot" what we call the agricultural holding today as I have a little work to do on a neighbors property, so will pass by and see what I can do re. the fencing.

I think we have enough now to do complete the fencing, once we start digging the post holes, Ill start taking more pictures. Again thank you to all the contributors, this is putting us on a fast path to get the Agri Plot producing, thus getting me closer to stop doing the stressful ISP work Ive been doing for the last 20 years. The next project after the fencing has been completed will be the provision of power to enable us to run the water pumps.

This will be the home of my new blog, where I will post my upcoming goals, how Ive been feeling health wise, how my general mental state is etc.

I hope to be able to share as much as I can with you all, but this will be a slow process to start everything up.

I will attempt to update regularly. Currently this is a static page, and will be editing the site as my mental state will allow me to concentrate to complete the site, add more images, and improve the aesthetics.

The date today is 09/09/2024:

Today has started to be an OK day, I have been feeling a little feverish, and medium level of fatigue. The heat has been building daily yesterday was over 32C. The heat seems to drain the energy from the body,

I have quite a shakey feeling, if I can try and and describe it, it feels like very cell in the body has a micro vibration, this shakey feeling ends up draining one of energy, and eventually I cant beat the fatigue.

Pain levels today are moderate, which means I can get up and move about albeit slowly and cautiously.

This meant that I could go out to my test garden and check on the state, the Barley crop is comming along quite nicely, not much but the garden will be producing the seed for the next planting. Already with the few ears that have been harvested, we have more seed that what we started with. Since the area (Kalahari Desert) is not a food production area seeds are hard to come by. I managed to get a few seeds from a bag of chicken feed a couple of years back, and grew them out, this then produced my seed starter. I am now going to grow my seed volume, so as to plant on larger scale our agricultural holdings that you all are helping to build.. The test garden is located on our urban lot, where we have been able to grow enough to produce much of our vegitable needs seasonally. At a stage it was producing almost 100% of our vegitable needs. This reduced as I got sicker and was able to do less and less.

	A portion of our production area on our urban lot.
Another Angle a little later in the season.

Growing of food is a high priority for me, as I require good healthy foods, free of pestacides and residues, this is something that is virtually nonexistant in our area, where one doesn't find many organic certified products in stores.

I now have a goal to plant such that I can grow 100% of our vegetables ourselves, using organic controls. We have run into an issue of nematodes, and this we still struggle with. Currenlty we have not been able to find an organic control for this problem. We are attempting solarisation, as well as using heat treatments. It is most likely due to lack of resting, as the size of the lot meant we couldn't rest areas, and we have now started to use other portions of the lot previously used for lawn parking space etc. I now have a shade net tunnel, which produces quite abundantly. It produced in excess of 5kg strawberries over the 2022 season in a 2.5sqm, of which we made jams, syrups, and even wine.

I don't drink, for obvious reasons, my liver being affected by iron overload means that I am alcohol intollerant and I physically get sick when having alcohol...a glass here and there or a taste I can stomach, but can't drink more than that.
Even as a non drinker I am super proud of my attempt at making fruit vino.

The taste of the wine, was reminisant of a semi-sweet rosè, the strawberry notes don't come through all that strong, and I will make a change to the recipe to bring out more strawberry, one suggestion that I had gotten was to put frozen strawberries in secondary.(the second stage where wine is clarifying, and loosing sediment as well as degassing)

Even though it wasn't 100% what I was aiming for, for a first attempt at a strawberry wine, following instinct and not a recipe, and only my 2nd or 3rd attempt at making wine, it turned out very drinkable.

This is one of the many things I do with any excess fruits I get, and I ferment many vegitables or pickle excess.

I will save some of the vegi garden stories for a later post, and I will possibly even make a sub-blog on wine making at home. I am sure followers could easily make a home made wine, that is very drinkable at much cheaper than store bought with no sulphites or preservatives that give the wine the bad rep for hangovers.

Time: 12:55 09/09/2024 (Update on symptoms Im Facing today)

As the day has progressed, the fever has been getting worse, but so has the heat it is now 32C indoors, and I feel absolulty bushed, the feeling of micro vibrations, have gotten worse, my breathing becoming more laboured, and an effort with each breath as it hurts to take a breath, the pain concentrated around the solarplexis area and down the ribs. My eyesight gradually getting blurier as well, other pain today seems to be to lesser degree, still painful.

I have noticed that after taking the cortisone tablets, it gives me the sense of fever, burning eyes associated with the fever, while it reduces the other pains a little, it comes with its down sides too. The leg pains have reduced since being on cortisone, and so too have the back pains, but back is still quite painful.The warmer it gets the more drained Im feeling, don't have much energy to go outdoors, but then again the sun feels like its roasting when I do go outside, Ill rest up till it cools down, and see what later afternoon holds.

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